Haunted By Grief

Stupid Statements I have Heard at Funerals

Don’t feel so bad it could be worse
They are in a better place/ They are better off
I know how you feel my cat just died
It is important that you don’t question God during this time
God is still in control of everything

What is Grief?

Grief is a deep sorrow, typically caused by someone’s death, a deep distress caused by bereavement or a cause of suffering.

A Psalm of Extremity

I cry tears to you oh Lord
Tears because I cannot speak
Words are lost among my fears, pain, sorrows, losses, hurts
But tears you understand
my wordless prayer you hear
Lord wipe away my tears, all tears
Not in some distant day but now, here

by Joseph Bayly

How Does Grief Haunt Us?

Grief is extremely personal
Grief is exhaustingly debilitating
Grief is excessively long lasting
Grief is exceptionally depressing
Grief is extensively focused loss
Grief is exceedingly painful

On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” “Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”

– John 11:17-27

What does Jesus do for those who grieve?

Jesus offers us connection
We gain connection through the fullness of His presence
We gain connection through the compassion of His friendship
We gain connection through the finding of His love

Jesus offers confidence

Confidence moves through His identity – I am

Confidence moves through His involvement – resurrection
Jesus is involved in the promise of resurrection
Jesus is involved in the purpose of resurrection
Jesus is involved in the plan of resurrection
Jesus is involved in the preparation of resurrection
Jesus is involved in the progress of resurrection

Confidence moves through His investment – life
Jesus is the starting place of life
Jesus is the supply of life
Jesus is the shepherd of life
Jesus is the significance of life

Confidence moves through His invitation – Do you believe this?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

– 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Jesus offers us compassion

Compassion is the act of love
Compassion is an act of leading
Compassion is an act of liberating
Compassion is an act of lightening

Jesus offers us comfort

Jesus comforts us through sustaining
Jesus comforts us through supplying
Jesus comforts us through stabilizing

How do we handle grief?

Never forget that you have shelter around you
Never forget that you have support underneath you
Never forget that you have strength behind you